Shipwreck’s Guide to Understanding Men

Shipwreck’s here to stir up your Valentines Day and make it a day full of love to remember.

A philosophy junky with long dreadlocks once came up with the phrase ‘Actions speak louder than words’.  It caught on, and is now one of the most popular idioms in the English language.  Ironically, he also came up with the saying ‘In every end is a new beginning’.  That explained why he happily never washed his hair and ended up with an infinite number of…you guessed it…split ends. 

His first saying is of utmost importance at Valentines Day.  So let’s look at how this relates on this day of love.

Clear your mind for a minute.  Sit back in your chair, ease the tension in your hand on the mouse, and take a deep breath.

Ahhhhh…

You are now entering the ‘Valentines Day mindset’…

“You have only just met your perfect partner.  Be it your current partner, a past partner, or your perfect new lover, whatever you are comfortable with will work for you.

Bring to life that feeling you had inside you the very first time you had strong feelings for this person, but were yet to confirm it from their end.  You were excited yet nervous.  Delighted yet frightened.  You didn’t feel this way about any other person in the world.

You meet up with your partner.  Your hands lightly brush in a ’should I’ or ’shouldn’t I’ way.  Your eyes meet, and they are captivated.  Your tummy sinks.  You think to yourself - ‘What are they thinking?’….’Should I be saying something?’

Engulfed in this magical moment your emotion builds.  The tension between the two of you is unequivocal.  You start to wonder…”Is he/she feeling it too?”

Your eyes begin to dart from theirs, seeking shelter in the blur of colours surrounding the outline of their body.  You are staring at something, but you have no idea of what it is.

You calm your breathing by feeling for something to fumble with, only to find your partner romantically lifting your fingers and folding them in theirs.

You catch each others stare again, only this time your eyes are locked on each other.  You are overwhelmed with the rush of thoughts entering your head.  Thoughts that are bursting to come out.  Thoughts that describe your immense feelings for this person.  Thoughts that are pushing your mind, body and heart toward wanting to be with this person.” 

Now STOP!  Before you spill lovey-dovey feelings all over the computer and electrocute yourself.

What we just re-created is the sensation of being in love and a sense of devotion…a two-way kind of love.  The best kind of love - a love that both people feel for each other.

Now you’re probably asking ”where does the philosophy junky with dreadlocks fit into the picture?” 

He fits into the picture because Shipwreck believes that when it comes to love, he is wrong.  Actions do not speak louder than words.  Words speak louder than actions.

Have you ever been in a long term relationship, 3 month honeymoon period, or two week dating session where your partner has tried to express their love through actions?  It just doesn’t work.  If you reflect closely on this, you will find that it was their honesty and the forthright nature in which they expressed their feelings for you by word that meant the most to you more than anything.

My good mate Romeo won his dear Juliet’s heart not through riches, gifts, nor pompousness, but through his words -

O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o’er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven

Re-confessing one’s love for another verbally this Valentines Day is the key to your Valentine’s heart.  Guys will treasure it and keep it to themselves as a means of recognising the strength and confidence in their relationship, whilst girls will most likely tell their friends about it, but nonetheless treasure it just as much.  That’s just the way boys and girls behave.

Expressing one’s feelings in an honest (and sober) way is something most of us struggle with.  When was the last time you reminded your partner of all the things you love about them, made them feel appreciated, and gave them a true sense of worth in your life?

It certainly isn’t easy, but this Valentine’s Day it is the best gift of all that you can give your Valentine.