Shipwreck’s Guide to Understanding Men

Before I get started, I couldn’t help but laugh over the weekend when I was reading Scoop Magazine. Remember my recent post on ‘The Air Head Party Sharon‘? - read it and pay close attention to the photos.

Yes, that’s right…Shipwreck’s heavens lined up for this one. I must have been reading the editors mind when I did the post.

Have a look on the left - cut straight out of Scoop Magazine!

Obviously I’m not the only person who thinks Paris Hilton is an air head

Anyway, air heads aside for today’s insight into the minds of males…..

I’m just back from two nights in Denmark, a small town in the South West of Western Australia, home to around 5,000 hippies and no restaurants open after 2pm (Shipwreck was delighted when he was given the opportunity to eat at the same place both nights because nowhere else was open during the weekend - talk about a time warp!)

This break from civilisation, albeit a very short one, allowed me to put a spotlight on my relationship. Free from mobile phone calls, no emails to answer, no traffic, and overall a more relaxed environment.

Ladies, here’s something you should contemplate. Us guys can sometimes become very caught up in our own worlds, and despite showing our affection towards you, we may do so without absolute clarity. A change of environment to one that enables a guy to fully focus on you can sometimes be daunting to a guy, and he may become a bit nervous because of the supposed pressure he is being put under.

Let me explain further…

As a general statement, women are more demanding than men. This goes back to the hunter/protector role of the man (refer to my post on ‘How To Get A Man to Do What You Want’). It’s not to say that women ask for more than men, just that it is our innate role that each sex tends towards.

So, take a guy and place him in an environment where he can’t busy himself with other things, and the woman will be likely to seek attention and want ’special’ time with him (moreso because he really doesn’t have any excuses now). This can make some guys uneasy and in particular make them question why they are put into a situation which requires so much attention and focus…something they’re not typically used to. Let’s face it - hanging out with mates can sometimes be a lot less mentally tiring than hanging out with your partner (this often applies for both sexes).

Now before you think Shipwreck is headed down a path of “safety in numbers” or you’re questioning what on earth happened over my weekend, let’s step back from the whole situation and look at what ground-breaking benefits men and women can take from the experience of such a one-on-one environment:

• both sexes get to strip away their lives (and potentially their clothes) and see the other on a ‘white canvas’ so to speak - free from distractions and the world’s chatter
• females get the opportunity to put their man to the test in an environment in which they should (and rightly so) get all the attention
• males get the opportunity to respond to this test either by making an effort to make the one-on-one time enjoyable, or constructively looking at the person they are with and their true motivations for being with them

On my bedside table at this beautiful spa retreat in Denmark were guest books dating back to 1997. They read “Dear Room 9….thank you for rejuvinating and inspiring our relationship” or “Dear Room 9, Mark and I have never been so in love as we are today. Thank you for working your charm.” etc. Let’s just hope Mark wasn’t sharing the room with a Michael

All these couples that had stayed in this same room were relishing the amazement at how their experience in this blissful environment had restored and strengthened their relationships. Reading these comments inspired Shipwreck, and re-enforced the importance of taking time out and physically moving yourself and your male counterpart to an environment where you can focus on each other.

Ladies allow your man a bit of time to warm to the idea that he is spending quality time with you. If it is something new to him or the first time you’ve been away together, be patient and he will come good. Absolute worst case if he doesn’t warm to you in this pristine environment, it’s unlikely that it is someone you will want to be with.

I would even go as far as to say that the first trip away together in any relationship is often one of the biggest tests - you either get on with the person or you don’t.

I took a former girlfriend snow-skiing for a week a few years ago, and despite her excitement build up to seeing snow for the first time, she insisted on staying indoors and watching Neighbours or The Price Is Right ALL DAY LONG! Talk about a waste of time. I can just imagine her being on The Price Is Right and winning a ski trip - “Yippee! I get to watch Neighbours in my hotel room” - sorry, the price is wrong Sharon.

All relationships should be put to the test sooner rather than later by taking a trip away together - you will see a true perspective of the other person, free from the shadows of society. Besides, if you work all year to save up for a holiday, you want to make sure you’re going to enjoy it with the person you’re with!

One final observation, it does take a while to strip away the buzz of everyday life when you get away. Your worries, dramas, thoughts & attachments to the life you left behind for a break will not dissipate immediately. Allow them some time to surrender. Only on the last evening when I was away did I really start to feel like I was on holidays, and that’s when the magic really started to happen.

Shipwreck’s words of wisdom: Test a young relationship by spending time away together, or rekindle an existing relationship by doing the same. A special trip away at least three times a year will enable you to really strip away your everyday life and you and your partner will begin to connect, understand and bond with each other better than ever before.