Shipwreck’s Guide to Understanding Men

So what is it that doesn’t gel?

• Marge Simpson - Marge was Fred’s first lover. They dated for 6 months and despite living in separate towns, they were like highschool sweethearts. They decided to move in to an apartment in Bedrock, but there was nowhere for Marg to die her hair. She became frustrated, split up with him and moved back to Springfield.
• Minnie Mouse - Minnie had always had a crush on Fred, and jumped him the moment Marge left. Fred and Minnie got on well but she kept being called back to Disneyland to do movies. Fred became a bit jealous because she was around all these other hot cartoon characters like Pop-Eye, Mighty Mouse etc. Their relationship was on-off for a good couple of months and she ended up never returning home one day.
• April - April only lasted a couple of romantic dinner dates where Fred pulled the moves (and yes, bagged her by the 2nd date). But being an intellectual, she liked deep thought-filled conversations, and Fred kept ignoring her to go bowling with Barney instead. She ended up writing him an 11 page letter about how much of an idiot he was, called the Ninja Turtles to pick her up, and never returned.
• Pocahontas - When Fred got into his early 20’s he liked the idea of having a foreign girl under his arm. She came on the scene and he was mesmorised by her beauty. The problem was that although she liked to take the car for a peddle and cook dinosaur eggs, she always ate them with her hands. She’d never used a knife and fork before. When they went out with friends, they would secretly laugh at her and Fred ended up buying her etiquette lessons for Christmas. She never quite got the hang of using the side-plate, and Fred gave up and gave her back to the Indian chief.

Then one day when Fred was shopping in BedrockPlus (the local supermarket), he noticed a very attractive red-haired girl at the checkout. He queued up to put his shopping on the conveyor, his heart pounding at a million miles an hour. When it was his turn to pay, he asked “So in which isle can I find your phone number?”

It was love at first sight. Fred and Wilma ended up getting married not long after and celebrated a wedding which both their families enjoyed immensely at the local bowling alley.

The moral of the story?

The compatability of two people goes way beyond attraction and communication. Having a similar social background, a similar upbringing, and a similar value system as your other half is a very significant component of a relationship.

I first came to understand BOOH Theory when I was 17 years old. I took my new girlfriend out for a low-key date to a local Italian restaurant. We’d been together probably 3 weeks and all was rosy until she said the following in the space of about 5 minutes:

“What’s an enn-tree?”

“Can you order for me…I’ve never done this before”

“Which knife do I use for the bread?”

She had never been to a restaurant in her life, and I was gobsmacked. I must admit I was fortunate enough to have eaten out fairly regularly, but finding out that a 17 year old in a big city had never eaten at a restaurant before was just bizarre.

The more I got to know this girl, the less compatible I felt. There were just some fundamental things about her upbringing, her belief and value systems, and social background that didn’t gel with me. You could say I had taken everything I knew then for granted, but felt like she was not being conducive to me living my life to the full.

Selfish? I disagree. I would rather call and end to the relationship early on rather than hurt the person down the track. If things are getting on your nerves now, imagine what they will be like where you’re 60 and more irritable than ever!

Fred and Wilma are a match made in heaven. They are both from Bedrock, they both love dinosaur eggs, and are experts at driving cars with their feet. They don’t suffer the same family pressures as say Minnie Mouse and Fred - could you imagine how uncomfortable Fred’s family would feel at the wedding?

BOOH Theory does not hold true in all circumstances, but I argue strongly for it, particularly for those re-assessing their other half or just starting a new relationship. If there are things inherent in each other’s backgrounds that don’t gel, your relationship will be a struggle. Similarly, the background of your other half fits perfectly with yours, you will feel far more comfortable and have a relationship with minimal social pressures.

There’s one thing left to say…..

“Yabba Dabba BOOOOOHH!”