How to Push a Guy’s Buttons…BIG TIME!
» By Shipwreck - Nov 19th, 2007
Have you ever wondered what really annoys a guy? Are you wanting to get in his good books? Do you want to know how to push his buttons to your advantage?
Well Shipwreck had a bit of experience with this on the weekend, so he can let you in on a simple but pretty important thing that pushes buttons beyond belief. Trust me!
There is one phrase that should never be used more than twice in the space of 60 minutes. It’s not “I think we should spend more time together”, it’s not “Are you listening to me?”, and it’s not “Don’t you love me anymore?”
It’s - “I’m sorry!”
Males are forward-moving, forward-thinking, progressive creatures. We like to put silly or bad situations behind us. We generally don’t want to look like the bad guys, and therefore we don’t want you to remind us that we’ve disapproved of something you did.
Hearing “I’m sorry” repeatedly gets on my nerves big-time. Once is enough. Men are generally smart enough to tell if you are sorry for something, and half the time don’t really care about what you’ve done. Males are big, tough creatures, and generally aren’t phased by minor things. Therefore, by doing something very small that you think annoys us, then bringing it to our attention by saying “I’m sorry”, just exacerbates that annoyance tenfold.
Here’s a quick example from the weekend -
My girlfriend and I went to a nightclub and the manager at the door told her she would have to wait outside for 20 minutes because apparently she was too drunk to enter. Ok, so she sways a little bit after a few drinks (most girls I know do). Anyway, I waited with her outside waiting for the time to pass. Here’s a breakdown of what was going through our minds subconsciously:
MALE Mind: I’m a male, and I like problem solving. Looks like we’ve got a problem here. The problem is that she isn’t allowed in the club because apparently she had too much to drink. How can I solve this? Simple, wait 20 minutes and she’ll be let back in. No dramas, no sweat, and no big deal. Although my mates went inside without me, I wasn’t really phased. There’s plenty of entertaining people to watch stumbling across the street or chatting up other drunk people to pass 20 minutes, so let’s just chill out and the problem isn’t really a problem at all.
FEMALE Mind: I’m much more in tune with emotions and feelings. Oh no, what have I done. I can’t believe I just ruined the flow of his night. He must be devastated to have left the group because of silly old me. I know I should haven’t had that last drink and I’ve ruined it all for him. I better apologise profusely so he knows I didn’t mean it.
And thus came the “I’m sorry” phrase about a hundreds times in an hour…each time like a mosquito buzzing past you while you’re trying to sleep. Despite telling her that I really didn’t mind, she continued to apologise.
Now don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate the sincerity of her apology, and know that it was a bit silly that she wasn’t allowed in, but if you understand how a guy thinks, you know that he was over it before it even began.
Ladies - I hope you catch my drift. Men - If you’re reading this, show it to a lady in your life so we can all understand each other a bit better.
A special hello to my readers from New South Wales - I’ve heard through the grape vine that Shipwreck’s blog is the topic of hot conversation over there. Keep up the good work, and if you want a crazy personalised letter posted to you, fill out the form on the right and I’ll kick my friend Postman Pat into action!
Category: how to please your partner, relationship advice, relationship troubles, scoring points
Ok, I see what you are saying here. You did neglect one minor detail however! Your girl was drunk!
I do all sorts of things when I am drunk; particularly when it comes to communication. I strike up a conversation with Mr Wierdo, I tell my worst enemy I love her, actually I tell everyone I love them, I tend to get more potty mouthed and conversations about sex just flow so naturally (which have you wishing the next morning that you had just kept some things to yourself!)!
Basically the reason this happens is because the first thing that comes to mind, comes out of your mouth like a verbal diarrhoea… So the first thing that comes to mind when we are at fault like stepping on someone’s foot or having to stand outside a club for 20mins because the bouncer noticed you had a slight film over your eyes- is SORRY.. Interestingly, we are partly saying it to you (because we are) and we are also partly saying it to OURSELVES! Paticularly when we are drunk we sometimes become ashamed of ourselves that we let it get that far (mind you this is obviously more so true when we are regurgitating the last 2L of alcohol we consumed into a toilet bowl!).
Another thought came to mind: Usually when we say we are sorry we get a hug or/and a kiss so saying sorry is a bit like classical conditioning - it can be code for ‘gimme a hug, I feel stupid!’
So in other words, while we do mean it when we say it: “I’m Sorry” is said a)more frequently when we are drunk and b) Sorry is not just for you it’s to make us feel better too.(by the way it feels good to say it too)
So “I’m Sorry” hun for putting my two cents in.. but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t
xox
Usually I agree with you mate, but this time I don’t exactly think you’ve hit the nail on the head. Ok, ok, so maybe we females apologise a lot…but what about the fact that men don’t apologise enough?!! If at all!! So many of my girl friends have massive arguments with their men, and they say it could all have been avoided if only the bf said “babe, I’m sorry”. Once. That’s it. But nooo. The guy has to be all stubborn and drag them both through a huge argument so that he looks like he’s won.
In my opinion, sure it may be annoying to hear “I’m sorry” from your girl heaps of times but isn’t this better than never hearing it?? SORRY but that’s my 2 cents!
Nice website!!