Shipwreck’s Guide to Understanding Men

It’s been more than a few weeks, but Shipwreck’s back.  What better way to enter back into the world of blog writing than with some important tips on what to do when your partner enters the room. 

As silly as it sounds, many couples (and singles) just don’t get this right.  It’s a very simple way of making or breaking a healthy relationship, or just totally embarrassing the opposite sex, and ultimately yourself.

Our good friend John Citizen (the guy who has over a thousand credit cards and frequent flyer cards to his name) walks into a room full of people.  It is a Saturday night, he’s all dressed up.  A woman he’s been dating for just over 2 months looks up from her martini glass, and in front of a total of 12 people (both his and his partner’s friends), she blurts out “Here’s my sexy little Johnny.  Don’t you look dashing tonight.”

All the street cred that John used to have, all the respect he used to get from his mates, is gone.  He may as well have been her pet chiuaua walking in the door.  “Oh Johnny, you look so cute tonight.”

Here’s what his mates, Bob, Rob, and Larry are thinking:

Bob - “Yeah John, you look like a poof”

Rob - “Where the hell did he pick this nutcase up from?” (referring to the woman)

Larry - “I thought John was a man…obviously not”

Meanwhile, John is cringing inside, thinking “Just be quiet and let me walk in…I know I’m hot, and even if I’m not, I really couldn’t care.  My mates are here and my mates don’t judge me.”

The message out of all this is, if a guy walks in the room ladies, and you want him to confident and comfortable around you, let him walk in with minimal fuss.  He will appreciate it more than you announcing his arrival like a catwalk MC. 

Guys on the other hand, have the complete opposite role.  If they want to win a lady’s attention and make them feel special, make it sound like you’ve just won lotto when they walk in the room. 

Back to our Saturday night…

John Citizen’s niece, Scarlett, has just arrived at the same small gathering John arrived at half an hour previous.  Scarlett is as nervous as anything.  She knows it isn’t a big event, but she likes to look good and fit in.  Her fiance, Rupert (sounds old and ugly, but rich…and probably is all three), is already at the gathering and getting stuck into some beverages.  The doorbell rings, and Niles (the stereotypical butler) answers the door, helping Scarlett with her red jacket, revealing a stunning red and black dress…that she bought from Target.

She walks into the room with the 13 other people, and Rupert spots her from across the room.  Like Moses parting the ocean, he states “Here’s my beautiful fiance, doesn’t that dress look stunning”.  The waves of people somehow split off to either side, leaving a clear path for her to walk straight up to Rupert and kiss him gently, knowing that she’s the luckiest thing alive to have a guy like him.

So why does Rupert deserve a stunning girl like Scarlett?  Is it because he’s filthy rich?  Is it because she knows he’s got a pad in Portugal, Vienna, Ontario, Fort Lauderdale, Tokyo and Paris?  It’s neither.

He has announced her arrival, subtlely, but sufficient enough to make her feel like the most precious thing that walks the earth.  The conversation stops, heads turn, and however shy she is, Rupert’s undivided attention has made her the momentary centre of everyone’s attention.  That split moment is enough to make her feel cherished and loved by Rupert.

Now, guys are probably thinking - “But if I said that, my mates would rip me for it”.  Sure, if you said “Oh look, here’s my snugglemuffin creampuff” you may as buy yourself a closet for your next birthday and walk out of it and shout “Surprise!” (not that anyone would be surprised by that stage). 

If, on the other hand, it’s something like “Here’s my gorgeous”, or “Hey sexy girl”, or “Come here beautiful”, your mates will let you off the hook.

Ladies, if you don’t want the attention put on you in that way, either politely ask your man to stop, or leave him for a guy that doesn’t say a thing when you rock up.  You’d have to be silly though.  I’m not aware of many girls that don’t mind a bit of doting every once in a while - especially if it’s in front of friends.

*****

Just a side note, Shipwreck has just started reading an amazing book that Oprah has been spreading the word about worldwide. 50 pages in, this is really something out of the ordinary - Ekhart Tolle’s ‘A New Earth‘.  It transcends anything to do with religion and philosophy and focuses on what really is challenging mankind’s existence.  For example, did you know that when most people refer to themselves as “me, my, mine, or I”, they have really missed the point?  Ironically Shipwreck talks about himself in 3rd person almost naturally (and I often get comments about this)…the reason why is to be discovered in this amazing book.