Shipwreck’s Guide to Understanding Men

It’s true! Ever wondered why a guy sometimes just snaps at you? Ever had a guy brush you away suddenly after previously being so into you? The answer behind this is - he’s entered THE DEN

Shipwreck’s Un-Official Definition: the den - a place where guys go when they are trying to figure something out. The den is likened to a lion’s den…if you get too close the lions might roar or even bite you.

Males often subconsciously fall into a state of problem-solving, a state which isn’t necessarily triggered by you, but certainly can’t be helped by you. Trying to solve or unravel a problem in their own mind, no matter how trivial or little, can cause them to snap or ‘roar’ at you if interupted.

I go into my den quite a bit…it’s like a very focused state of mind that is concentrating quite heavily. If this concentration is broken, I find that it generates frustration and anger.

Ladies, it is important that you understand that a guy going into ‘The Den’ is rarely (hopefully) your fault. Guys ’switch off’ sometimes to feelings of emotion around them in attempt to solve something that is bugging them. It may not be obvious what that thing is, and most guys don’t even know that they’re doing it!

One of my biggest pet hates (I’m sure many of you can relate) is when someone constantly asks ‘Are you ok?’ or ‘What’s wrong?’. Nothing is wrong, I’m just thinking…please leave me alone…I can sort it out for myself.

(This notion of sorting oneself out in the male mind is something I will discuss later - quite an interesting topic about the two different worlds men & women come from).

The solution to getting a guy to come out of his Den and start showing affection is to simply go about whatever you were doing as though you are not reliant on him. In time (sometimes a minute, sometimes a week), he will come out of his Den, with his problem resolved, and he will be as receptive as ever to making you happy.

So, keep an eye out for when guys in your life have entered ‘The Den’. If they’re well and truly entrenched, don’t try to coax them out, simply continue with your life as per normal and this will be of great benefit to you both.