Shipwreck’s Guide to Understanding Men

I believe that trust above all can make or break a relationship…and some guys just can’t be trusted.

You shouldn’t necessarily be fooled by what a guy says to you, promises you, or says that he will do for you. At the same time, guys exercise great care in deciphering a woman’s true intentions. It works both ways.

Let’s look at a a few common ways a guy may break their trust -

The “I care about you, but don’t show it” kinda guy - if he’s all talk, forget him. He should actually demonstrate that he cares about you. As small as it sounds, this is a break-down in trust that can lead to other relationship issues.

The “Don’t worry about the text message from Jessica, she’s just mucking around” kinda guy - ha! and you believe him? My g/f and I discussed this earlier this morning before work in relation to the whole Prince Harry situation and him receiving text messages from a secret admirer (his g/f Chelsy Davy split up with him as a result - good on her). We basically agreed that if someone is sending you text messages or flirting on the side (and trying to hide it), share this with your partner and look at the humorous side of it! My girlfriend got approached a few weeks ago by 2 separate guys at a pub, both giving her their number and writing messages on cards…she showed these to me and we both had a laugh thinking how we could catch them out by perhaps calling them - “Hi, this is Shipwreck, you gave your number to my girlfriend on Friday night. Would you like to treat the two of us to dinner and a movie sometime perhaps? I’m free Friday night?”

However, if your partner is receiving text messages or shrugging off suggestions of something going on with someone else, be very careful. You can generally tell if someone’s got feelings for another person if it appears they are trying to defend or protect them. It’s not a foolproof test, but a bit of intuition can give you a good idea of what’s going on.

The “I’m 12 inches” kinda guy - he generally doesn’t mean harm, but he loves to exaggerate. I’ve got a friend that insists on reminding me of his plans to buy expensive things, and his massive income (which another friend tells me is about 1/5th of what he charges). He doesn’t mean any harm, but loves the whole “mine’s bigger than yours” notion. If there is a guy like this in your life, it doesn’t necessarily mean he can’t be trusted. It generally just means that he’s looking for some re-assurance, confidence and recognition. Do be careful though, because if it’s 12 inches you’re after and he aint got it, you’ll be rather disappointed

The “It’s OK, I’ll sort it out” kinda guy - great if he can sort whatever ‘it’ is out for you, but if he consistently promises to do something for you, but doesn’t end up doing it, he’s failing in his ‘protector‘ role. Guys like this need to know when to ask for help, or accept that they can’t solve everything. I find time constraints is one of the biggest issues in my busy life, but at least showing that you care and make an attempt to sort something out goes a long way to building trust.

The “Give me your money and I’ll help you make some more” kinda guy - forget him, or at least make sure you don’t give him anything. He is there to help you make money, not make the money for you. Only well into a relationship should you consider this level of trust, particularly as money can be quite a touchy subject between people.

A good example of the last ‘kinda guy’ is a gentleman/con-artist by the name of David Schirmer. He was the only Australian to be interviewed on the worldwide best-selling DVD ‘The Secret‘. David Schirmer built trust in the public with his apparent ability to easily make money - “Just imagine cheques in the mail, and they will start coming!”. I attended this guys seminar in October and actually found it to be quite useful in terms of mind set, but knew that there might be a greater scam going on in behind the scenes.

Want to see how much a grown man can squirm when asked about his lies? Watch the video below and see - it’s quite amazing to see how delusional this guy really is. It’s an interview by A Current Affair that will air tonight, featuring David Schirmer.

The guy that organised David’s seminar in Perth is called Wayne Mansfield - the first person to get fined under Australian Anti-Spam laws - a whopping $4.25M Aussie bucks! I should have known - it’s one scammer (and spammer) leading another. Fortunately, I didn’t outlay any money to this guy…and certainly it’s the last seminar I’ll be attending of Wayne Mansfield’s.

The moral of the story is, yes some cheats do prosper, but they do so at the expense of others. You’ve got to be careful so that you aren’t one of those that falls victim to lies or small untruth’s that can gather devastating momentum.

I firmly believe that if you have trust and confidence in your partner, the rest of your relationship should be a breeze.