Shipwreck’s Guide to Understanding Men

I must admit, there’s nothing sexier than a woman who can act, especially one who can act in a sexy way. I had a friend ask me the other day when it would be most appropriate to wear her newly purchased “french maid” outfit - ghuuuurrrr!Ok, calm down Shipwreck. She’s after a serious answer.

There is a bit of an art to teasing and pleasing a guy. Here’s a basic checklist before you start:

a) Make sure he’s in the mood, or that he will be by the time you’ve finished teasing him.

b) Ensure he isn’t in ‘The Den’ - you don’t want him to turn you down, which may mean you will never consider doing anything similar again.

c) Check how much time you have before any potential disruptions

d) Try on your outfit beforehand - you never know…it may be missing a button

e) Think, dress and act sexy - guys love it when you do

f) Whisper, gesture, command, and control - you are the boss now, he is at your disposal

I can’t stress this last point enough, especially gesturing. Men are very visual creatures as I’ve said before, and therefore any physical hints you give them will send them wild!

Let’s use a scenario with the French Main outfit for illustration purposes…

It’s 7 o’clock on a Monday night. You and your man both had a relatively unexciting Monday at work, and are therefore not expecting to do much that night. You generally arrive home at 5:30 and he gets back sometimes around 7ish depending on whether he’s had to work late.

Tonight is the night you’re going to wear your French Main outfit you’ve been longing to wear for months. You try it on for size and admire yourself in the mirror.

Time to get the house ready. Soothing background music is a must, and incence and candles will really set the mood for the moment he walks in the door. You need to make him feel like he’s in a foreign place to get the best effect.

Tidying the house is optional…after all, you are wearing a French Maid’s outfit. You may like to wait for him to get home and then start tidying right infront of him. Start by doing things off to the side so he gets a good view of your sexy new outfit, and then work your way closer to him, ignoring him for the time being - this will drive him wild!

When you do finally look in his eyes, look at him innocently. Remember, you’re acting the part! Then, you quickly race off into the distance so again he can admire your outfit.

Continue to tease him, gesturing, but pretending that nothing is different. Remember, no touching. You’re trying to tease. If he says something about your outfit, just shrug your shoulders and continue acting, teasing him more and more. The more you dismiss the fact that he notices you’re wearing something different, the more it will eat away at him!

You walk into another room, compose yourself, and walk back in, making sure his eyes are fixed on you for every step you take towards him. Show time. You whisper in his ear “I’m your little french maid tonight…what can I do for you?”

…and the rest I’ll leave up to your imagination.

In fact, I want to hear how you would end the story. Click on the ‘Comment’ link below and tell our readers how you think it should end. Keep it clean but creative, as I won’t publish anything too over-the-top.

Also, if you want some advice on some funky dance moves, get your friends to subscribe to Shipwreck’s Blog. I’m willing to put my entire striptease video online for the world to see if I get 500 members on my Facebook group ‘I Get My Relationship Advice from Shipwreck’, and/or another 35 email subscribers. Spread the word, then tell your guy friends to watch for tips!

Today I put together some online videos for a competition we’re running. I’ve included some of the out-takes below.